Should I Feel Bad?

Song Playing: "Darlin Nikki"-Prince

So this weekend tis guy dies. But he's not just some random guy. A lot of people I am close to knew him, so naturally they are all affected by it. Dude was a doctor at like 23 or 24, was about to be married in like a month and he dies in a car accident. What the fuck right? That's just one of the things that's bothering me.
The other thing is I really don't feel any type of way about it. I mean I'm not here bawling my eyes out. Not because I'm some prick who has no feelings, that's the farthest thing from the truth. It's just that I didn't have the same connection to him that all my other friends did. So this puts me in an awkward position. I don't want to come off as the cold-hearted bastard, but I don't want to be fake and shed false tears because that would only dishonor him. I remember when I was younger and another friend of mine died in an accident.
I understood death at a young age (which wasn't a good thing), but I didn't know how to react to it. I never cried for my friend. He was one of the first people I met when I moved to my house in Jersey, and I couldn't mourn him. Sometimes when I sit back and think about it I feel bad. I thought there was something wrong with me for not crying...I mean everyone else did it, why not me?

But continuing on the man that died, I initially thought thatit was fucked up, which it is. But then My old roommate and I started talking about it, and I said something that still shocks me even after I said it (being the backslider I am). I said maybe it isn't our place to understand why he was taken from us. No one can see God's plan for them, no matter how hard they try. All we can do is live everyday like it is our last, and I truly believe this man did.

So when my friend's come to me with their heads bowed and their eyes full of tears, I'll pick them up and give em a tissue.

With all that being said...Rest In Peace Dr. Kenneth Riddle. I may have not known you as well as my friends did, but your impact on them shows. So in turn I do know you and I can say you are, were and always will be respected, loved and never forgotten.