In My Mind

Song Playing "I Keep That" Joe Budden

I applied for a job in NY earlier this year. Not New York City...everyone pump your brakes. New York State. A little place called Elmira. I applied to be a producer at the local TV station. Everything was moving along well. The news director had a good initial conversation over the phone. I sent him a tape of my most recent work I'd done at the station. He liked it. Wanted me to come up out there for an interview. Sounds all positive right. WRONG!!! Along the way good old Nonchalant Jarrod raised his head and started procrastinating. I submitted a writing test. That shit bombed. So the news director calls me back. Mind you I'm all gung ho about going out there. I'm thinking this is my chance to get my own show, get my shine on. WRONG!!! News director calls me and says my writing test is subpar. This is his analogy. "There are three types of quarterbacks. Starters, second-string quarterbacks who aren't ready yet and guys who don't belong in the league. Right now you're a second-stringer and I need a starter." I didn't have anything to say. He'd hit the nail on the head. I didn't have the drive he felt I needed to convince him to hire me. I blew it. Not my resources who never called him back (that's a different story for a different day). I saw the finish line without seeing that last hurdle. So I called my mom looking for sympathy. "I don't have any for you. You messed yourself up. I hope you use this as a lesson and not let it keep you from doing what you want to do." That folks is tough love if I've ever heard it. But moms is 100% right. So when people ask if I'm mad about missing out I tell them hell yeah. But more than that, I'm motivated.