Mall Moments
As some of you know, I have a part-time job at the mall down here. From time to time, business gets a little slow and I'm allowed to sit back and observe what happens in the mall. These are just a few things I've seen and heard while at work:
*Apparently the mall drunk thinks I'm a good guy. So how does he show his appreciation for me listening to how he has to walk miles across town to see his girl who works in Dillard's? He lets me have his copy of the latest Smooth Magazine with Deelishis on the cover.
*I'm getting ready to close the store down after a long day of watching people browse but never buy (I now know how the Asians or Indians feel when we wander aimlessly through their store decideing whether or not to buy the Sour Cream & Cheddar chips or the Salt & Vinegar ones), and I see this misguided hood rat with blue and blond hair walk past me. Let me repeat...BLUE AND BLOND HAIR!
*And finally back to the mall drunk, so he and I are sharing a conversation while I'm once again waiting to close the store. I try to ignore the sour smell of booze and listen to his Virginian mumble. Then, almost out of nowhere, he says quite possibly the funnies thing I've ever heard a person say to me face to face.
"Man listen, I'm damn near 50 years old. And I've had more sex than I've had birthdays."
posted by Jarrod at 8:12 AM
2 Comments:
why is there a mall drunk?
8:43 AM
A man should start having sex by 18 at the latest. And I figure, if you have sex 12 times a year, which is bare minimum to still be classified as a man, then after two years of having sex you woul dhave had more sex then you have had birthdays...I hope. Yea, 12 times a year is the standard. Like, you could only get it 6 times in one year, but you would have to follow that up with a strong year of 18 times to balance it out. Thats pimpin mathematics. Ok, now i'm laughing at my own damn self. Thats sad...
7:52 AM
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