WTF???!!!

I'd like to think I'm allowed to lose it every now and then, since I spend so much brain power trying to keep everything even keeled.
Here goes.
So this morning, I'm about to walk out of my apartment and head to McDonald's to enjoy the Deluxe Breakfast (three hotcakes, sausage patty, biscuit and scrambled eggs).
I open the door and hear some rustling. I look down the steps and see this dude in a red t-shirt and barefoot sleeping in the hallway. SLEEPING IN THE HALLWAY!!! Apparently I woke him up, my apologies good sir.

"Oh I'm sorry man, I'm just down here looking for my earring," he mumbles.

"It's all good man. Just let me ease past you."

Yo, this dude smelled like four kinds of ass that had just been wiped by four differnt kinds of burnt hair. Real talk, this dude smelled like, "OH SHIT!". You know the kind of stench that just invades your nostrils and makes you tear up. Yeah, homeboy reeked. Mind you, this isn't the first time I've stumbled across this guy. A few months ago (yeah, I said months) I was coming home from a night out. I admit I had a few, but I was still good. So I start to climb the steps to my apartment door when I get a whiff of something.

"Oh shit! What is that smell?"

***rustle, rustle, rustle***

"Oh my bad man, I'm just waiting on my friend to come back home. I left the keys to my car inside. My wife's gonna kill me."

"Nah, you cool fam."

I politely stepped over this bum ass nigga and went inside.
The next morning I get ready to run a few errands. I walk to my door, open it and walk to the steps.

***rustle, rustle, rustle***

"Oh my bad man, this guy ain't come home yet so I'm just here waiting for him."

"Aight, man."

But that isn't where it ends folks. There have been nights when I've heard someone knocking on the door adjacent from me apartment. I'll go to the peephole, take a quick look and guess who it is? That's right...homeboy.
WTF???!!!