Yeah...I Stole It

I'm a thief...sue me.

Grub-ology:
* What is your salad dressing of choice?
Ranch. Now do I use it on salad? Nah.

* What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
McDonalds. But Hardees is climbing the ladder rapidly. Those Thickburgers are rockin!!

* What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Don't really have one.

* On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
Tip??? For what? They're doing their job. You don't get an extra five bucks for coming to work on time do you?

* What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Chicken. (Insert racially motivated joke here)

* Name three foods you detest above all others.
I kinda stick to stuff I like so I can't help ya here.

* What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
General Tso's Chicken

* What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Pepperoni

* What do you like to put on your toast?
Strawberry jam

* What is your favorite type of gum?
Winterfresh

Tech-ology:
* Number of contacts in your cell phone?
36...I got a new phone a few weeks ago.

* Number of contacts in your e-mail address book?
Like 10. I don't really e-mail people like that.

* What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A picture of Pink. ( I like that sweet, white nectar too)

* What is your screensaver on your computer?
Nothing

* Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
Not to my knowledge...

* How many land line phones do you have in your house?
One

* How many televisions are in your house?
Three

* What kitchen appliance do you use the least?
Microwave

* What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?
R&B and hip-hop

Bi-ology:
* What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
All of me.

* Are you right handed or left handed?
Right

* Do you like your smile?
After a year of braces hell yeah.

* Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
No

* Would you like to?
Yeah

* Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
Of course. I do most of my heavy reading on the porcelain throne.

* Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Taste...I gets busy in the kitchen.

* When was the last time you had a cavity?
I dunno. Haven't been to the dentist in a minute.

* What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
My Playstation 2 controller.

* Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Yes. Got hit by a car when I was riding my bike when I was a kid. I remember going down this hill racing my friend. Next thing I know, I'm looking up at some clouds.

Misc-ology:
* If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No. Somethings you're better off not knowing.

* If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
I don't think I would. I've kind of grown into liking it.

* How do you express your artistic side?
I write and I sing. I'm like Luther in the shower.

* What color do you think you look best in?
Clear...lol. But I've been told I look good in green and red.

* How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
As long as I had to. I'm a survivor baby!!

* Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
Pause...that's all I'm saying.

* If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
Yeah...and I bet I ain't the only one.

* How often do you go to church?
Not as often as I should.

* Have you ever saved someone's life?
I don't think so. If I have and you're reading this...you're welcome.

* Has someone ever saved yours?
I'm sure they have. By the way...good lookin out whoever you are.

Dare-ology:
For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.
* Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Yeah buddy.

* Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Nah chief. You can't put a price on gay stuff.

* Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
See answer above

* Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
I mean do you really need 10 fingers?

* Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Blog?? Never heard of it

* Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
It would be a spread for the ages.

* Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Yeah

* Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Without fear of punishment in this life or a later one?
A nigga's pockets are tight.

* Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
Of course. I could finally be smooth on the outside as well as on the inside.

* Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
As long as it started after the day after the Super Bowl.

Baptism

So I went to church yesterday. No I didn't burst into flame nor did pigs fly. My mom's been on my back about it, and besides I needed a little spiritual healing. So I get there and apparently this kid was getting baptized that day. So I'm watching this moment take place and some of the minister's words struck a cord with me. I'll paraphrase so I can get to the point. It was along the lines of "Lord forgive this boy his sins..." and so on and so forth. He also asked the boy if he was ready to have Christ in his life. And that got me thinking. Does this kid know what this guy just asked of him? Like that's a big career move. So I kept thinking and I came up with this question...Should there be an age limit when it comes to baptism? My initial and current answer is yes. I just think that a person should understand the responsibility they're assuming once they take that dip into the water. Maybe this is the cynic in me coming out after a few years at this thing called life. I hope not. But feel free to respond accordingly.

Time Changes A Person

This blog begat from Grown Woman...which begat from Buford's sister...which begat from...I don't know. But here it is, a look at what I was doing 10 years ago.

10 years ago it was August 9, 2006

1. How old were you?
Then: 13
Now: 23

2. Where did you work?
Then: I was 13. That would've violated Child Labor Laws.
Now: A TV station in Norfolk, VA

3. Where did you live?
Then: The quiet streets of Roselle, New Jersey
Now: The mean streets of Norfolk, Virginia

4. How was your hairstyle?
Then: A fade with a hook part. I dare ya'll to clown the kid. Remember folks I was 13.
Now: I make cats seasick with the waves I got spinning on my head.

5. Did you wear contacts?
Then: Nah
Now: Still nah

6. Did you wear glasses?
Then: Yeah man.
Now: Yeah

7. Which of your pets was still alive?
Then: My bitch Sable...she was a golden retriever.
Now: None...Sable died a few years back.

8. Who was your girlfriend?
Then: This chick named Adrienne
Now: Um...uh...no one.

9. Who was your celebrity crush?
Then: I really don't remember. Guess alcohol does kill brain cells.
Now: Halle Berry

10. How many piercings did you have?
Then: None.
Now: Three.

11. How many tattoos did you have?
Then: Nigga I was 13!!!
Now: Three

12. Who was you favorite singer/band?
Then: Boyz II Men. Again it was 1996. Don't front like you ain't bump "II" back in the day. I'm not the only one who bought that CD.
Now: Almost everyone...and I mean it. I got range from Jay-Z to System Of A Down to Bach.

13. Had you smoked a cigarette?
Then: Nah
Now: Still nah

14. Had you gotten drunk?
Then: Nope
Now: Fif!!! (Chappelle's Show fans know what it is)

15. What kind of car did you drive?
Then: Car? More like bike.
Now: 2000 Pontiac Grand Am

16. Looking back, are you where you thought you would be in 2006?
Nah. I wasn't thinking that far into the future.

And here a few hopeful predictions for what I'll be doing 10 years from now.

Age: 33
Job: Producer either at ESPN or a TV station in a top 10 market
Location: Bristol, Connectict or a top 10 market
Hairstyle: Still spinning, unless male pattern baldness kicks in. If it does, I'm rockin the baldie all day every day.
Family: Married with my own little tribe. Don't want to still be bar hopping.
Contacts/Glasses: Frames all day.
Pets: Something the kids can play with, but my neighbors will fear.
Girlfriend: I'll be married, and I ain't down with having a woman on the side.
Celebrity Crush: Halle might still be up there.
Piercings/Tattoos: I might have a few new tats. I'm done with piercings.
Favorite Artist/Band/Singer: By then all the people out now will be considered old school. So I'm gonna say whatever is considered old school at that point in time.
Home: A bomb ass spot. I'm being vague cause I really don't know.
Accomplishments: Just being a good father and husband is enough for me.
Volunteer Work: Depends on if pursue any post graduate activities
My Ride: I'm gonna need something for the kids and dog, so I'll say some sort of SUV. But I refuse to push a mini-van. That's not sexy.
Drinking: I'll have a taste here and there.

I'm Having A Hard Time

I'm having a hard time trying to express the joy that is "The Boondocks" to my white co-workers.
Let me set up the scene...
It's some random day at the station, and myself and a female co-worker (who happens to be of African-American descent) are discussing "The Boondocks" DVD.
We were talking about the one where...well it really doesn't matter since all of them are funny and involve the word "nigga".
So one of co-workers who happens to be white (it's cool he's got a hood pass cause he's from East St. Louis) asks me what me and old girl are chuckling about.
So I try to break it down to him without using the dreaded "n-word".
And I couldn't do it.
I would start talking about the scene and "nigga" would be the punchline and I'd have to censor myself.
Now anyone who knows anything at all about me, knows I hate to censor myself.
Well, my man with the ghetto pass seems interested enough so he starts chuckling, cause even without "nigga" talking about Uncle Ruckus is pretty damn funny.
But here's where it gets a little funky.
Another co-worker (also a white man, one without a ghetto pass but thinks he has one) chimes in FROM ACROSS THE ROOM..."Is that show kinda like "Chappelle's Show?"
No.
No it's not.
For starters there is no more "Chappelle's Show", just that B.S. Comedy Central put out against the wishes of Chappelle.
Secondly "The Boondocks" is animated.
I don't see Ashy Larry or The Time Haters portrayted weekly in well animated scenes do you?
But I'm getting off task.
My original dilemma is, how do I explain "The Boondocks" to white people?
Maybe it's the age old adage rearing it's ugly head again.
"It's a black thing. You wouldn't understand."