Sometimes a brotha just wants to get his thoughts out...

Friday, December 29, 2006

I Wasn't Feeling Creative...Sue Me

I already threw this up on my Facebook notes/wall or whatever it's called. Just trying to reach the masses.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do /Did you have a crush on me? (NO SAUSAGE!!)
5. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression of me when you met me?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to tell me?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Randomness

What's the best way to curse out management? And I don't mean in the subtle, "I really think there are some things we should discuss" way. I'm talking an expletive laden tirade with the option to throw something and or hit someone.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Don't Get Wally Pipp'd

I was originally going to lament about how I have to work on Christmas Day today. I figured for all that stuff, I'd let you guys read some of Jameil's past blogs about that. Let's just say she and I have similar feelings on working on the holidays. But yeah, I was gonna bitch and moan about it, but I decided I'm going to try and turn a frown upside down. Hence the title of my blog. I realize some of you are asking who the hell is Wally Pipp. Sports fans know who he is. Allow me to educate you guys. Wally Pipp played shortstop for the New York Yankees back in 1925. Pipp missed one game because the manager wanted to "shake up" the team's lineup. In Pipp's place a guy named Lou Gehrig started. Gherig went on to start 2,130 games in a row. Thus the phrase that is the title of this blog was born. If a person get's "Wally Pipp'd" they basically got their job snatched from them. I'm treating today like Halloween and I'm dressed up like Wally Pipp. I'm about to snatch someone's job. This doesn't mean I won't be involved in any type of Grinch-dom. I'm just putting that aside for the next few hours.

Monday, December 18, 2006

I Don't #$% With Santa!

Warning: This post is completely random. Feel free to comment. If not, simply observe it, chuckle and continue your day. But here it is.

I can't mess with Santa. I mean who else thinks it's weird that our American culture glorifies an obese, Anglo-Saxon man who basically breaks into your house and eats your milk and cookies. Sure he leaves presents, but that's a small pennance to pay for breaking and entering. Last time I checked, niggas got jail time for that. Key word here: niggas. I guarantee if Santa's real name was "insert stereotypical name Black man here please" and not Kris Kringle, he'd be getting bread and water and not Soft Batch cookes and 2% for the next 18 months. And since when do we celebrate obesity? All I hear is low carb this and non fat that. Looks to me like Santa should go Atkins. I mean how else is he gonna fit down my chimney. Matter of fact, I don't even have a chimney. If you have a chimney where you live right now, put your hands up. Now take a look around. Do you see anyone's hand up??? EXACTLY!!!

Holiday Theft

Since I'll be in Virginia this Christmas (there are no holidays if you work in TV), I might be somewhat of a Scrooge. So I'm trying to get some holiday cheer. Good look on the list.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
This is like picking out your favorite child. But I'm gonna have to go with the nog. But only if it's the Southern Comfort brand with Vanilla Spice. I'm a nog snob.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa wrap?? HA!! That's what the elves are for.

3. Colored lights or white lights on tree/house?
I remember us having white lights outside our house back in Jersey. But on the tree we'd have colored and white lights. We're real Affirmative Action in my house.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nah. Nothing clever here, so keep reading!

5. When do you put up your decorations?
I don't. Bah Humbug, Bitches!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Ah man...uh...um...I'ma be a fat boy and just say all of it. I'm all about grease and carbs.

7. Favorite childhood holiday memory.
The one that stands out is one a few years ago. Sega Genesis was still out so that gives you an estimate of the year it happened. Anyway, I got this video game I asked for. I started playing it the minute we finished opening presents. I beat the game that same day and hardly ever played it again.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
The year I looked in my parent's closet and saw me and my brother's presents.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
No. I wait until Christmas Day.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Can't decorate what you don't have. And imagine me dropping some dough on a damn tree. Some of those things cost as much as my light bill. Christmas tree or light? You decide.

11. Snow: love it or dread it?
I'm from Jersey, son. I love it because it's one of the few times I look forward to writing my name.

12. Can you ice skate?
And you know this...MAN!!!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Nah, but I did have a few good ones.

14. What’s the most important thing to you about the holidays?
Being with my parents. I know it sounds cheesy and so not me, but it's true.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Mom's sweet potato pie and her red velvet cake. Am I biased? No, I just know hers is better than yours.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Don't have one. The stuff we do ain't all that traditional. We wake up, unwrap presents and eat throughout the day.

17. What tops your tree?
Don't got one. But if I did, either a star or an angel.

18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving gifts?
I like both actually.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? "Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel and the Joker got away"

20. Favorite Christmas movie? The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (animated, not that live-action Jim Carrey debacle) and Home Alone (I can damn near quote that movie word for word).

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Five-Second Rule

No this isn't the rule where if you drop some food on the floor it's still good to eat if you pick it up quick enough. That's the three-second rule. The five second rule is something a few coaches in professional sports have adopted. No matter the outcome of a game, whether it be a win or a loss, players and coaches are given five seconds to either celebrate or lament. That's it. Then it's on to preparing to the next game. I'm trying to adopt the five-second rule in my life. To make a long story short, I applied for this job. I got called in for an interview. The interview went well. I got a call back. I didn't get the job. Now normally, I'd spend days wondering what I could have done differently to change the outcome. But now, I'm even going to let it get me down. This doesn't mean I'm not going to learn from the experience, I'm just not going to let it define me. So I encourage you all out there to try and adopt the five-second rule in your lives.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I'm Not Dead...

Hey gang! Remember me?? If you don't I can understand, I've been away for quite sometime trying to be an adult. It's not all that exciting, but hey it is what it is. While I've been out to lunch, I made a few personal changes. Modifications if you will. To begin with I got rid of my tounge ring. I know, I know some of you ladies didn't get a chance to "check it out", but it was a career move. It's tough enough being the one Black guy in most meetings. It's doubly tough being in there looking like a billboard ad for Rocawear. Add to that this piece of stainless steel in your mouth and you have a recipe for not getting promoted. So I didn't want another reason to be passed over, so I decided to get rid of it. Something else new is I now have a part time job. "But when can find the time to work another job? Don't you work crazy hours during the morning?" Here are the answers to both questions: 1) I don't find the time, it finds me. 2) Yes I do, but I'm on a paper chase. So after my everyday 2am to 9am, I go to the mall and crank out about 4 to 5 more hours. I work at this watch store slinging Diesel, Kenneth Cole and DKNY watches to people. I think that's about all the changes. Some things remain the same though, your boy is still single (but always taking applications), I'm still at the station (but still looking for that full time that gig...TV people holla at me) and I'm still writing (I ain't forget about it). But that's about it, just wanted to let the loyal few who read know I'm still here.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Dear...

I know this was supposed to be a letter I mailed to you, but I believe in whenever you're moved to do something you should do it at that moment. So here's your letter. Sometimes I wish you didn't like me. I don't mean in that not liking me as a person. I mean when you "like, like" someone. If you didn't like me, it would be easier to be an asshole. I mean I don't have that problem naturally, as you've found out time and time again, but if you didn't like me I wouldn't feel bad when I did it. Don't take it as me being around you for feeling sorry for you. I know that rubs you the wrong way. I just hate to make people feel bad. But like I said earlier I have that innate ability to do that. It seems like lately our conversations revolve around me apologizing and you chastising me. I know you don't like that term, but again sometimes it feels that way. And when I say stuff that sounds like I'm encouraging you to go out and live, I don't mean it to sound like you're sitting home waiting for me to call. But it seems like whenever I do call you or whenever you call me you're at home. Then whenever I'm out and you call, I feel like I should be home so you can talk to me. Maybe part of the reason for me wanting you to be out and "have a life" is so that you won't be available whenever I do finally call all I'll get is your voicemail. That would make it easier to cut you out. Don't get me wrong that's not what I want to do, but I've operated that way for so long it's like second nature. And that's another thing that frustrates me. I'm being forced to actually think when I'm in a relationship. I know, it's that dreaded word I've always hesitated to use. But this is the closest thing to a relationship I've had in years. But back to my original point...you make me think. I know that sounds pretty silly. But when you've been manipulating people to your will for so long, and you meet a person who actually can and does challenge what you do, say and think it's somewhat challenging. I mean God forbid I meet someone who makes me think. Also, I think I let the pressure of potentially being in a relationship get to me. I know those things take a lot of work. And like I tell you sometimes (and if I haven't here's me telling you now), I'm a person who likes to deal with things face to face. If there's a problem we have going on, I'd much rather have the conversation face to face as opposed to over the phone. The reason I've always liked to do that is because I can read people's faces. I guess that helps me manipulate people. But whenever we do talk face to face and you call me on my manipulation, I'm stuck. So conventional wisdom would say stop doing that right. That's kinda hard to do. I think that's all I have for now. I didn't intend for this to sound like a gripe session, but I guess that's what was needed to be said. I know it's rare when I say what's on my mind and when I let people in. Well this is why. I know I'm a cold blooded piece of work. And I know I'm capable of having my honesty misinterpreted, so that's why I clam up. So the more you pry, the tighter I get. There are times I want to work on fixing it, and times I don't. It so happens that you're the person who "benefits" from it. Ok, now I'm done seriously. I don't have anything witty to say to close this out, so I'll just say...bye.