Shameless Plug

I'm not one to give props to a lot of people, places or things. But I really need you guys to read my homeboy's blog. Dude was my roommate freshman year of college and was there for all the ignorance, beef and bullshit I/we went through during my Hampton years. This cat is one of the few who knows a lot about me. Probably too much. So I'm just giving him a plug. If you think I've got stories, read his blog. Aight, enough of that here's what's I've got bubbling on the stove. I've been writing...again. Before you get all gassed up, let me send out this disclaimer...pump your brakes. This don't mean I'm gonna start churning out stuff on a consistent basis, it just means I'm writing again. And yes it's a continuation of the previous story so that should prepare you for what's to come. Now I do respect the opinion of my blogging peers, but I have to admit I went outside the circle of trust and let a friend of mine read it. She's a friend of mine from Hampton and is also a writer, only she's in like the final stages of her book and I'm still nursing mine. So I reluctantly sent it to her and...she liked it. She really liked it. I know I kept hearing from you guys that it was good, but here's something about me some of you may not have known. I'm a perfectionist. Anything I do has to be flawless. If it isn't, then I don't want it. So even though I kept hearing, "it's good...oh my God when will there be more" and so on and so on, I had to push the envelope to see if it could stand up with other people's stuff. I mean if you want an opinion on the best seafood in town you ask a local, not a tourist. But I'm rambling and it's almost time for me to booth my show so I'm out.

Karma

Ain't karma funny? I admit I was screening someone's calls when she and I weren't on good terms. And I didn't know how it felt until it happened to me. I've been trying to get in contact with this chick since I got back from Atlanta. We exchanged a few text messages here and there that mostly ended with me sending her a message and not getting a reply. So finally, I decided I've had enough. Every man enjoys a good chase, but eventually he expects to find his pot of gold. I ain't found gold and I've been mining like it's 1849. So she can fall back, bump her head and forget about me. I'm reaching into the closet and pulling out the cape. Superman is back. Ladies guard your girls. Fellas watch your women, cause they're looking at me and I'm looking back.

WTF???!!!

I'd like to think I'm allowed to lose it every now and then, since I spend so much brain power trying to keep everything even keeled.
Here goes.
So this morning, I'm about to walk out of my apartment and head to McDonald's to enjoy the Deluxe Breakfast (three hotcakes, sausage patty, biscuit and scrambled eggs).
I open the door and hear some rustling. I look down the steps and see this dude in a red t-shirt and barefoot sleeping in the hallway. SLEEPING IN THE HALLWAY!!! Apparently I woke him up, my apologies good sir.

"Oh I'm sorry man, I'm just down here looking for my earring," he mumbles.

"It's all good man. Just let me ease past you."

Yo, this dude smelled like four kinds of ass that had just been wiped by four differnt kinds of burnt hair. Real talk, this dude smelled like, "OH SHIT!". You know the kind of stench that just invades your nostrils and makes you tear up. Yeah, homeboy reeked. Mind you, this isn't the first time I've stumbled across this guy. A few months ago (yeah, I said months) I was coming home from a night out. I admit I had a few, but I was still good. So I start to climb the steps to my apartment door when I get a whiff of something.

"Oh shit! What is that smell?"

***rustle, rustle, rustle***

"Oh my bad man, I'm just waiting on my friend to come back home. I left the keys to my car inside. My wife's gonna kill me."

"Nah, you cool fam."

I politely stepped over this bum ass nigga and went inside.
The next morning I get ready to run a few errands. I walk to my door, open it and walk to the steps.

***rustle, rustle, rustle***

"Oh my bad man, this guy ain't come home yet so I'm just here waiting for him."

"Aight, man."

But that isn't where it ends folks. There have been nights when I've heard someone knocking on the door adjacent from me apartment. I'll go to the peephole, take a quick look and guess who it is? That's right...homeboy.
WTF???!!!

Back From The A

Yeah, I'm back. Atlanta, or rather Duluth, was cool. Hung out with the grandparents, bugged out with my brother, went to the Coca-Cola museum (try the Beverly flavor) and just decompressed. Also did a little writing...calm down, calm down. It wasn't anything long and drawn out, but hey it's a start. Now I gotta get caught up on everyone else, so give me time to search some archives and I'll get back at this thing.

On My Mind

I'm at work printing scripts for my director, audio person and anchors. While I'm at work, almost always my TV is on as is every other person's in the newsroom. Mine, however, doesn't stay on CNN or Fox News. It's on ESPN. What can I say, I'm a sports junkie. Right now "Rome Is Burning" is on. One of the topics being debated is the NAACP's involvement in trying to get more Black players in Major League Baseball. Now I could wax poetic on how I think we do need more players of color in baseball, but today something else has piqued my interest. The NAACP itself. Mainly the name. Let's break this down. NAACP means the National Association for The Advancement of Colored People. Colored. People. Last time I checked we weren't colored. The PC term (which I don't use, but that's a different issue) is African-American. If we're going to march on as a people in a new direction in these new times, something has to be done. I know this may sound blasphemous, but someone has to change the name of this organization. I know the history behind the organization and all it's done for people in the past to get us to our present. I get that. But King, Abernathy and X ain't walking through that door anytime soon. I'm not saying we totally abandon the ideals and memory of them, but we've got to start moving forward. Starting with how we address ourselves.

I Think My Boss Likes Me

So I came into the watch store yesterday to fill in for someone. I'm not wearing anything spectacular or looking any other kind of way. I'm just looking like a guy heading into his part-time job...tired and waiting to get off the clock. I stroll in and my boss (who is a woman) asks me right off the bat, "Hey Jarrod, do you have a girlfriend?". Huh? What? Can a nigga get a hello first? Can I clock in before we reveal my relationship status? I chuckle nervously, slightly beaming with pride.

"Nah, I'm as single as they come."

"Oh really? Wow. Cause you know I asked (insert female co-worker's name here), and she said she wasn't sure."

Pause. You mean to tell me there was a conversation about my relationship status already floating around the job. Wow. Un-pause.

"Nah, I ain't got no one. Why you asking? You got someone in mind for me?"

"Not really, it's just hard to believe that you're single. I mean, you're a handsome guy, nice personality, you work out."
At this point in time, she's started rubbing my upper right arm. Thank GOD for that Hour Of Power in the gym.

"Cause you I be in here working sometimes and I'll look and be like damn that man is cute. And then I'll look closer and say oh, that's Jarrod."

That's the ebb and flow of my life folks, co-workers psuedo hit on me while I struggle to find a date up to my standards. That story is just one of the things that involved the mall. Here's story two. Same day, I'm posted in the store watching the clock watch me when this chick walks by. Cute, brown-skinned, thick you know just how they should be. I heard the pickup line echo in my head. I felt the words bubble up from my gut, towards my throat and sit patiently on my tounge. And I kept watching the woman as she walked towards, in front of and away from me. Now here is the dilemma, I gotta figure out how to talk to these women without coming across as "That Guy In The Mall". Ladies you know and avoid him constantly. You're out at your local mall going to the Semi-Annual Sale at Victoria's Secret (you gotta know where to hunt your prey, kinda like a lion waiting at a watering hole for a herd of antelope), and you walk past "That Guy In The Mall". He's ambitious, cocky, conceited and in between you and a pair of draws. You don't want to be bothered by him, so you have your "hell no" face on complete with the "nigga be gone" quick step. Now I don't want to be "That Guy In The Mall", I just want to get to know you. This is where you, the faithful reader, helps a brother out. Oh and one more thing, the kid is going to the A next week for a family reunion. I need to know what I'm getting myself into. All of you who have been or are from there give me some info.